Moderne Beziehungen

Twice upon a time

Breakups are mostly painful and bitter. Reconciliations on the other hand could be a mixed experience but they're mostly pleasant. When a couple breaks up, there could reasons that are beyond the control of the two people involved. At that point, it is difficult to envision a future together. But as two people live apart and reflect on the past, there are certain realizations that dawn upon them, certain thoughts and ideas that gain visibility and a change of perspective or behavior follows.

Getting together with your ex could be a refreshing experience. Deborah had broken up with Jared a few years ago after a relationship of two long years. They came back in contact with each other after a year and half. Six months later, they got married. What changed in the eighteen months that lead the two of them to marriage? Deborah says that before the break up, both of them were intolerant and uncompromising. Their problems had reached the apex and they were forced to part their ways.

However, later they realized how much they missed each other’s' presence and looking back at the times that they had spent together, both of them felt things could have been much better. When they got together, they were more compromising and tried to resolve their differences through talking than arguing. She felt that she was able to understand Jared more clearly now than ever before. She also felt that Jared could anticipate her reactions and analyse her thoughts much better.

Most couples who get back together after a breakup, say that they have better understanding of their natures and even if they are not changed people, they start to live with each other’s' virtues and vices. Sometimes, people get into another relation after a breakup. This relation could be more rougher and the partner more difficult to deal with. In such cases, people could turn back to their exes and get involved once again.

On the other hand, a post breakup relation with an ex could also be a nightmare. John moved on after a yearlong relation with Roberta. He could not bear her constantly questioning his fidelity. He was a consultant and socialized with a lot of men and women every day. After a few months they got back together. Initially, Roberta seemed like a changed person but later, she was back to square one. Things were worse with Roberta accusing John of breaking up earlier so that he could sleep with other women.

A love story that continues after an intermission is like a movie that could go anyway in the second half. It might lead to a happy ending or it could be a disaster. Relations are fragile and need to be handled with great care. A relation that has been broken once could become stronger with a fresh bonding or might weaken due to earlier cracks. Both the partners are equally responsible for making a relation work, be it once or twice upon a time.

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Stephen Covey

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