Persönliches Wachstum

Child Ego

The child ego situation contains all the behavior and philosophy patterns, together with the sentiments, which are left over from one’s own childhood. One has to keep in mind here that all the good day-in, day-out care one gets as a child allows one to nurture into useful adult and these experiences are incorporated into one’s adult ego state.

But often left over in one’s child ego state are all the occurrences that have caused unease, grief, rage, shame or other experiences which one hasn't quite digested yet. These surplus fragments may cluster around specific events.

Within our child ego state, there may be many unsettled matters or developmental stages left over. The material which is left as your child ego situation is entirely personal and depends on your own private history. It also depends on your nature as a child and the resources and support which were accessible to you. Each child finds diverse solutions to what goes on for them.

Today, years later, you may experience yourself shifting absolutely into a child ego state due either to general anxiety or a specific trigger, or you may experience a low-level manipulation of the child ego state in, for example, your constant sense of uncertainty in relations, in spite of the fact that you know things are excellent.

For example, assume you are still carrying feelings of jealousy and abandonment from when you were four years old and your little sister was born. Maybe this is because your mum gave you to your aunt when your sister was born with medical problems.

These sentiments and the related thinking and behavior patterns would be stored in your reminiscence at the level of functioning of a four year old; today, however, they may get raged whenever your partner goes out with friends, because this state more or less resembles the one you experienced as a four year old. Consequently, whenever he or she goes out you start reacting like the four year old you were, trying to deal with a very intimidating and puzzling condition.


Fürchte nicht diejenigen, die streiten sondern diejenigen, die ausweichen.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach